I've Been Busy

Within the past two weeks with the newest addition to our family I have been in the doctors office four times, been sent to the ER, been up every four hours, have been puked on, slobbered on, cried on by all three of my kids, I haven't had the time to shower or eat or sit down for more then 3 minutes and if one child isn't crying the other two are.  Needless to say, it's been busy.

So no, I don't really have  a lot of time to talk or check Facebook or email or any other real form of communication.  If you want to have a full on conversation with me be ready to do it by text over the course of 7 hours because it seems to be the only way I can keep my brain on any form of communication and that's only because I can scroll through the texts and find out where we are in the conversation when ever I get distracted by some small child asking me for the moon... right... now!

It feels a lot like this... Only louder.

This seems to be a hard concept to get for a lot of people.  I blame myself.  When I only had one child it was hard to get a moment to myself to talk on the phone but I did it.  Then I had two and it was even harder but I managed.  Now I have three and it's just a near impossibility.*  But everyone on the outsides just figures I just don't want to talk.  She could manage it with two, why not three?  What exactly does she mean she's been busy?  

When ever a mom tells anyone she's busy everyone around her immediately thinks "excuse".  Because, lets be honest; before we were mom's when ever we didn't really have the energy or just didn't want to do something or go somewhere or talk to someone we just said, "I've been busy".  It was a total excuse!  It's vague, non-discriptive and universally accepted as valid by virtually everyone.  Aren't we all busy?

Unless you have children

But now I realize what busy actually is.  Busy is when you get up at 6:30-7:00am, do the basics to just survive and then at 10:30-11:00pm you look back and have absolutely nothing to show for it.  No phone calls where made, no appointments booked, no emails sent, no conversations had, no workout, no shower, no food, no laundry, the bathrooms are still a mess and your bed isn't even made but at the end of it you feel as if you've been running a marathon for 14 hours.

So no, at the end of the day the last thing I want to do is get on the phone, or respond to passive aggressive emails about how I must really have my hands full to not be able to write back when I have a smart phone and all.  

Some times it just feels like your sinking.  Your trying to be so many things to so many people and unfortunately just like everyone else in my family, people are going to have to wait in line for my attention.  It might not be today, probably not tomorrow but I promise if you are willing to hang out for just a couple of months I'll be right back to my only semi busy lifestyle.  Which involves just the basic walking around my backyard with my phone to my ear while the kids follow behind me as a screaming mess of attention starved animals.

Hopefully my youngest will be walking by then or she's going to get pretty dirty.

Antenella

*it doesn't really matter how many kids you have.  If it's only one or twelve it's still ridiculously loud and hard to focus.

Guess what? We have another baby!!

I am insane.  In a good way.  My hubby and I have always planned on growing our family through adoption.  So this past friday we got a call for a potential match and lo' and behold our family of four is now a party of five! (get it?)  So this post is going to be pretty short since I have a bit on my plate this week.

one of these things is not like the other. lol
Is it ok that I say that?

Welcome Arya Symphony!  Is is a 13 month old baby girl.  The great news is that we skipped newborn issues all together.  No night feedings, no getting her to sleep through the night, no nursing.  Bad news is she's only 3 months younger then my son.  Twinsies!

what a cutie patootie!

The kids love her!  My princess has been talking non-stop about not thing but her baby sister and the boy is...well... he's not freaking out every time she enters the room and for him that's practically giddy with love and affection.  So needless to say.  I'm crazy.  I mean really, really crazy.  But people do this all the time right?  Twins are pretty common now a days.  So I can do this right?

...

Right?

But since having a new baby in the family we have all gotten sick so there has been a lot of this.

yay for nebulizers!

But after everyone gets better it will be easier, right?...right?

We are so excited about the whole adoption thing and it has really been great to talk to everyone about doing it.  It really has opened up a whole new world of conversation with people.  We are totally open about it and there is nothing sacred when it comes to Q & A's about it.  So we welcome the question.  There is nothing you can ask that will offend so ask away!

Some one get me a martini quick.



Antenella

I Win!

I don't know about you but I have a "strong willed child" in my son.  And when I say "strong willed child" I realize that it is a nice term for complete pain in the ass.  Seriously, my nick name for my son is Drama Queen.  It's really a good thing he's not a girl or he would be completely unbearable.  As it is, he is manageable... sometimes.

Today was not one of those times.  

It's a lot more like this, but with more
sobbing from me.

Before I even begin my story of remorse and struggle, let me give you an example about what I mean by "strong willed".  When he was three months old we decided it was time for him to sleep through the night.  So we tried the cry-it-out method.  This worked great for my daughter.  In three days time she was sleeping through the night like she owned it.  So we figure he'd do great.  Well, 3 and a half hours later he is still losing his mind.  (Yes, I'm a bad mom.  I just kept telling myself, he can't possibly cry much longer.  He's going to pass out any minute.  Not so much.)  Needless to say, after a week of him crying me into hysteria, we changed tactics that ended up with him waking up every three hours till he was nine months old.  

Or the fact that he didn't walk before he was 15 months old.  Oh, he could!  He just refused to since it wasn't his idea.  It was so bad that my parents where telling me that it was because I wasn't working with him enough.  But no amount of coaxing was going to get him to do it before he was ready.

But really, these are all just elementary examples.  These are nothing in comparison to the daily struggles that come with a "strong willed child". (or whatever you wanna call them)  Today seriously took the cake.  I honestly couldn't even believe what was happening.  You can't write this schmit!

I'm trying to get out of the house, not because I want to but because I should probably have food in my refrigerator and maybe get some diapers so I don't have to start reusing them.  So off to Target we go!  The princess wants to bring her baby doll stroller but I told her she couldn't bring it.  So after a fairly sulky moment or two she walks out the door stroller less.  Well, seeing the stroller without person, my son takes it upon himself to take the stroller with us.  No, I say again.  You can not bring the stroller...

Why didn't I just say he could bring the stroller?  Why oh why oh why?

He starts into one of his fits where he is screaming bloody murder.  The sounds that this boy can produce is an art form.  He could make money by doing scream-overs for horror films.  Something about his scream just makes your skin crawl.  Talent.

Whatever, I can deal with this.  This ain't my first rodeo.  So I pick him up, get him and the princess out the door and into the car.  The fit doesn't end there.  Oh no, not for a long shot.  I spend the next 5 to 10 minutes physically wrestling my son into his car seat.  He does this thing where he arches his back like one of those little Olympic chinese gymnasts.  So by the time I get him buckled in, I'm sweating, I'm swearing and I'm pretty sure one of my neighbors has called child services.  I have roughly 15 minutes to get out of my driveway before the cops pull up.  Now this is where it gets interesting.

I finally get him in and I say to him.  "Ha!  There! I won!" Well, he takes one look at me and and starts shoving his fingers into his mouth.  He is screaming and crying and now he's choking.  

"Don't give me that!  Just let it go.  I won, we're moving on." As I'm buckling in my daughter.

"You'll survive.  It's just target.  You like target."  as I get into the front seat.

"If you throw up, I will be so mad!" As I'm turing the key in the ignition.

I turn around to pull my van out of my driveway just in time to watch my belligerent child vomit all over himself...

Can I cry now?

I now have to pull everyone back out of the car, get everyone back inside, undress then redress the boy and start the exiting of the house all over again.  The best part is, as I am losing my schmit getting the kids out of the car and into the house again, I notice my neighbor staring at me one swear word to late and now on top of being furious I also want to sink into the floor out of embarrassment. 

God, I am a bad mom.  Sob*

One thing I do notice between my sobs of frustration, my son is happier then a pig in poop!  There is just something a little off about how happy and content he is as I change him out of his throw up clothes.  As I pull off his shirt he looks right up at me and gives me a winning smile as if to say,

I win.

Antenella

Watch me, Mommy!

The other night, after the kids were finally in bed and me and the hubby got to actually see each other for the first time that day, he tells me with such honesty and sincerity; that he felt I'm not attentive enough to our children.

...

It was such a heartfelt and true concern that it was easy to push the immediate reaction of punching him in the neck aside and really listen to him.  In all honesty, I guess I could be a little more attentive to them.  If I were to take them to do more things or do some learning activities at the house or even play hide and seek once in awhile. (shudder*)  But that's not what he was talking about.

I don't know how to say this but
Your a bad mom.

He paints this picture of what he sees when he gets home from work.  I'm in the kitchen making dinner and the kids are at my feet and my princess is saying "Look, Mommy!  Watch me!"  and I don't.  I just make an "Mmhmm" noise and say "Wow, cool"  But I don't even look up.  All she wants is for me to look at her.  To acknowledge her.  To show her that she has worth and that as her mother I think she is worthy of my attention.

Again, he tells me this with genuine concern and sincerity.  I bite my lip and wait a few moment to allow it to sink in before I calmly answer him.  The first thing I say is, that the hardest thing about being a mom is that everyone else knows how to do your job better then you.  Your kids teachers, your parents, your pediatrician, your friends with only one child and yes, even your husband.  They may not actually think that but a lot of the times the things that they say make it seem that if the roles were switched, they'd do a much better job.  I don't go into his I.T job and tell him how to lay out his programing.  Of course not.  Not only would I be giving wrong information but it would also be really obnoxious.

Secondly, I tell him that at 8:00 in the morning I am fresh!  I am ready to watch every little think my daughter and son have to throw at me.  I watch things all day!  "Mommy, look at me!" is an every second of the day affair.  From 7:30am till 6:30pm I am the only one in the house that they can perform for.  So guess who gets to watch every jump, every spin, every burp?  Me.

I know I shouldn't be complaining, I mean,  I am very grateful that my children have minds and bodies that work with such ease and wonder that every little thing is something to celebrate.  And celebrate we do!  Every... Little... Thing.

Everything has to be documented with a visual from mom.  And if I could be quite honest, I'm not watching some really amazing things either.  Sure some of them are.  Once I watched her do a somersault or another time I watched her hit her brother in the head with a plastic shovel.  That was certainly entertaining.  But for the most part I'm watching things like blinking, or drinking from a cup (which she's been doing since she was two and half) or spitting (which they shouldn't be doing at all)

So I am sorry if by the time my hubby comes home I'm not really excited when my daughter jumps up for the umpteenth time to show me something that involves standing as still as possible and slowly trying not to laugh.  I'm sure that years from now when she's all grown up I'll look back and thing of how endearing it was but I notice that there are a lot of things about this age that will only be appreciated when a decade as gone by.  As for right now, I'm just trying to survive it.

So give me a break if I'm to busy trying to get dinner on the table without burning it or the kids.  The idea that my daughter will be a shell of a person because I don't have time to watch her jump over the grout lines in the kitchen is ridiculous and I refuse to allow myself to be guilted by it.  Besides, there are going to be times when something else is going to take precedence over her need for attention, so it's better that she learns now then when she's in college and is throwing herself at some hot freshman boy and she thinks she less of a person just because he's not that into her.  Whatever, she can blame me in therapy when she's old enough to pay for it herself.

Good!  Now you can pay for your own therapy

Now sit down.  Dinner is ready.

Antenella

Kids, the Ultimate Excuse to Not do Housework

I think she's attempting to be productive

What is it with trying to get work done that infuriates the hell out of my children?  My kids can be the sweetest most well behaved children that ever lived.  They play together, entertain each other and over all, leave me to my own devices.  That is, of course, as long as my "own devices" means sitting on the floor in the same room as them.  God forbid I try to get a load of laundry done!

Well, that's never gonna happen

I've been trying to write this blog for roughly 20 minutes and in that 20 minutes.  I have had to get one ice cream, two waters, one cheese stick, changed Netflix to Diego, changed Netflix to Dora, changed it back to Diego, move from the couch in front of Diego to the couch in the playroom 3 times, had three mini meltdowns over play dough and only one of my precious baby angels is even awake right now!

Ugh!  Days like this I think about all the things I could have done as a single person and how hard I thought it was to get things done then.  What a joke!  As a mom I have to do six times as much work with six times less time to do it in.  And I am a stay-at-home mom!  I don't know how you do it if you have to also work at a job!  Props to you!  I guess I can get a lot of stuff done if I'm ok with listening to my kids scream the entire time I am doing it.  For example...

Last week I had a fundraiser at my house which was awesome!  The clean up before hand?  Not so much.  I started Monday for the Saturday affair.  And good thing I did because I would never have had a solid three hour block to do everything in.  It turns out that as a mom, whatever you need to get done can only take you 5-10 minutes before it becomes more work then its worth.

Forget having a phone conversation.  (giggle*)  Even the idea of having a conversation using the phone conjures up images of Seinfeld when George's parents try to call him.  I have literally done loops in my backyard with my kids following behind me screaming at the top of their lungs like some twisted game of follow-the-leader just to make a dentist appointment.

His face says it all

And if you have single friends that call you, that is, if you still have single friends that tolerate you at all; they either thing you are making up the fact that your kids scream all the time or they just stop calling you because they don't want to listen to you berate your kids for 15 out of the 20 minutes that they've got you on the phone.  I am lucky enough to have a couple of single friends that have no problem with the sound of a baby pterodactyl screeching in the background.  I am so grateful!

We can make this crap up

Don't even talk to me about having to get stuff done on the computer.  You might be checking your mail, making appointments, paying the bills, researching the next schooling assignment, finding a recipe for dinner, logging your workouts, checking your Facebook, buying movie tickets, and updating your calendar all at the same time but all your kids see you doing is sitting down looking relaxed.  Red flag!  That is an immediate code red in a toddlers eyes.  Code Red means two things.  Lots of noise and tears.  From you or them, it doesn't matter.  As long as there is lots of it.

So you figure, I'll put on a movie that will distract them for a least a half hour.  Especially if it's Dora!  All they ask to do all day is watch Dora anyway, this will be perfect.  They'll be happy because they get to have their crack... I mean favorite tv show, and you'll be happy because they'll stay out of your hair while you check your mail or pay some bills.  Nope.  This is the only time Dora is not working her magic.  Her espanol is not engrossing your child like she's on hallucinogenics.  Why?  WHY? Oh the humanity!

Trippin balls

In the time it has taken me to write the rest of this blog my princess has asked me for 6 different things, to change Diego to Dora (again), made me cover her with a blanket, asked me to play with play dough (again), has fake cried at my feet for 6 minutes, asked me to take her to the bathroom (which she has been doing on her own since she was three) and has now resigned herself to just saying my name over and over again while she lays at my feet...

And Dora is on!

sigh*

Antenella

Why Mommy?

Oh my Lord!  I don't know if you've been through this or are going through this but I swear, that if my daughter asks me one more time, "why?" I'm going to lose my schmit!

I understand that the "Why" phase of development is very important.  There are lot of things that come out of this.  Cognitive understanding, cause and effect, the importance of communication.  I mean, there are a lot of great things that come out of asking why.  In fact, my husband swears by it.  He is of the belief that he is a more educated, adjusted and confident person because he learned from a young age to ask why and more importantly, to not feel silly asking.

Well, whoopty-friggen-doo for him!  He gets to go to work.  I have to sit at home and answer "why questions" all day.  If I could sum it up in one word it would simply be, exhausting.  Especially since, a lot of the "why questions" aren't really because she wants to know, it's just a distraction tactic so she gets to do what I've asked her to stop doing, longer.

"Stop hitting your brother!"  Why?  "You'll hurt him"
"Don't stand in the buggy"  Why?   "You'll fall and get hurt."
"Eat your breakfast."  Why?   "Because you'll be hungry later."
"Sit in your car seat."  Why?  "Because it's not safe to drive without out seat belts on."
"You can't have ice cream"  Why?  "Because you turn into a crazy person!"

Why shouldn't you eat dirt.  Hmm...

Why? Why? Why why?  ARG!!  I don't know!! Just do what I ask!!  Why is it so hard to just follow direction?  Is it really necessary to know why I ask you to eat your peas?  Then it happens...

You didn't see it coming.  You couldn't!  After 6 hours of "whying" every little thing that has come out of your mouth.  It happens... The words are slipping out past your lips before you can choke them back.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!!"

...

And there you have it!  You have become your mother.  You swore up and down that you would never say that.  Why would you?  You will have the patience of mother Teresa with your precious baby angels, unlike your ADD mother who never spent enough time with you.  (sob*) But, it has happened.  It has come full circle and you know what?  Now that you've said it, you realize that this isn't actually a cop out answer like you initially though.  No, it turns out to be totally true!

Sometimes things have to be done just because... I said so.  There is no scientific reasoning behind my wanting you to don underwear before leaving the house.  It's just expected that you do so in this country we call America.  Sure, no one would even know and probably won't even care if you don't wear them But since you are my kid and I think it is only appropriate that you do wear underwear, then wear them you shall.  Why?  Because I said so.  The End.

Who knew?

There is no other logical explanation needed after this argument.  Because, honestly, it can get really our of hand otherwise.

"Shh, your brother is sleeping," Why?

Why what?  Why is your brother sleeping or why do I want you to be quite.  Really?  You know the answer to both of these questions.  But you get pulled into answering "why questions" and next thing you know 20 minutes have gone by and they still haven't brushed their teeth.

So yes, It happens.  Yes, some times I don't give any real explanation other then to say it's my way or the highway.  But you know what?  I don't feel bad about it.   Why?

BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Antenella

Yay for the ER!

I would probably like it a lot better if it looked like this

What is it with boys trying to leave this world as quickly as they came into it?  I swear, my son has been trying to get back to Jesus ever since he left the Nirvana for babies-yet-to-be-born.  Without a question my son either thinks he is Spiderman or is trying to get bite by something radioactive that will make him Spiderman.  Correction... Iceman.  My daughter has been very explicit about his real naming being Iceman.  (For more on this strange side note feel free to read "Spiderman and his amazing friends".  It might make more sense.)

Anyway, all this comes from the fact that we spent Palm Sunday not at Church, where all the good, caring, attentive Christian parents take their wonderfully behaved kids in their cutest little sunday best.  Oh no, we were in our pj's in the ER at our local hospital.  Why might you ask?  Perhaps we were visiting a family friend, or a brand new niece or nephew was born or maybe we were just getting to know our local hospital and it's amazing staff.  Alas, this was not so...

Yeah... this wasn't us so much this Sunday.

Sunday morning I woke up early to help out at my church (yes, they actually let me help at my church and don't try to hide me and tell all the other parishioners to "pay no attention to the crazy in the corner") but my husband was complaining about being sick.  So instead of going like I should have, and therefore miss all the hullaballoo that ensued thereafter, I stayed home to nurse my sick husband back to health.  Which was easy since it only lasted about 5 seconds until we both her a loud "THUD" followed shortly by intense yet honest crying.  I have never seen my husband move so fast...EVER.

Poor kid fell out of his crib.  No biggie.  I know it sounds heartless but this kid has thrown himself off the couch onto the tile floor with not so much as a bump.  Needless to say, I wasn't immediately concerned.  So we rush in there and pick him up and try and sooth him.  He only wants my husband which honestly hurt a little.  Maybe it's because he was reading the level of concern and he realized mine was pretty low in comparison.  Like I said... heartless.

So we're soothing him and he is crying so hard he's starting to gag and I'm pretty sure vomiting is a sign of a concussion.  But I think, nah.  It's not that high.  Kids fall out of their cribs all the time.  So we take him to our room to calm down a bit and while we are laying him down in our bed the boy starts to doze off.  Ok.  Now I'm freaking out.

I'm yelling at my husband, "don't let him fall asleep!"  I'm jumping out of bed opening the blinds and yelling my son's name.  I get dressed, grab my son and start heading downstairs with the pediatrician on the phone.  Of course it's Sunday so I get the answering service.  No prob.  They usually return my call quickly.  By the time I get downstairs the boy is alert and talking to his sister who's been watching cartoons for an hour already.  I get everyone ready to get out the door just in time for my pediatrician to call me back.  They give me the OK to head to the hospital.

I was planning on making a trip out there anyway but at least now I'm armed with "My pediatrician told me to bring him in" when anyone at the hospital asks, instead of just sounding like a nervous nelly.  Anyway, all this freaking out happened mostly inside my head.  I was able to explain to my daughter that we couldn't watch "monkey george" anymore because we had to go to the doctor to make sure her brother was alright.  She didn't seem to be to convinced that he was really that important but we got her out the door with minimal fighting.

Way more important then crying brother.

The beautiful thing about an ER visit is that 90% of the times that you go there after about 3 hours you start feeling like this was a total waste of your time.   This is a good thing because if after 3 hours you're still feeling concern you may actually have a real life emergency.  Sure enough, by the time we get to the hospital and get checked in my son is his flirty, distractive self again.  Hurray... only 2 more hours until we get the CAT scans back.

Why yes, mister Stamos I will wait for hours.  With pleasure:)

So all of this to say he's fine.  The CAT scan came back normal.  He was laughing and playing like nothing had happened and most importantly he was allowed to take those oh so holy naps that we love so much.  Just for the record, if your kid falls and they are showing signs of concussion just bring them directly to the ER.  There's a good chance that your doctor won't be able to do anything in the office anyway so just let them know you are going directly.  Better to be safe then sorry.

That, and also, I'm a heartless mother.  But when it comes down to it, I know when it's appropriate to worry just enough.


Antenella