Christmas Cheer!

Ah, Christmas.  It is both the most magical and most frustrating time to have one toddler, let alone three.  I just wonder if my mother ever went through the nights of blissful sleep just to be jolted awake by the date on the calendar popping into her dreams.  Seriously folks!  I have like three maybe three and a half weeks before the jolly red giant graces us with his presents.  By the way... Spoiler alert!  That's me!

I hear ya, lady! 

Holy Crap.  Christmas is here!  I'm having a hard time being jolly and remembering the reason for the season when I look at my calendar and wonder when I'm going to get the time to pull my christmas bulbs from my attic so that my tree downstairs in the living room has more then just a string of lights on it come Christmas morning.

It's not supposed to be like this.  It's supposed to be fun. Christmas is supposed to be magic!  It's the one day a year where you can actually believe in miracles.  Because for the first time ever it is actually surrounded by a real miracle.  Even if you don't yet know of the glory of God there was a moment in time that you believed in Santa.  No matter what happened during the year, Christmas morning restored your faith.  Your faith in people, your faith in love and yes, even at 12 years old, your faith in magic.

So where's the magic?!  I have nothing but amazing memories surrounding the Christmas holidays.  There was never ending parties, and get togethers.  I remember coming home to Christmas cookies and doing Christmas crafts.  I even remember sitting under the Christmas tree watching the lights until I fell asleep.  I am fearful that my kids are missing out since it is increasingly more difficult to keep up these traditions.

It seemed that Christmas 10, 15, or 20 years ago was a different creature.  Toys cost 10$ not 50$ plus shipping.  And parties were friends, family and eggnog.  Not just another inconvenience.  Christmas was never just "one more thing you had to do" before the kids went back to school.  Why is it like this now?  How can it not be?  

I see those "Keep Christ in Christmas" bummer stickers and I think, "Yeah, that is the point right?"  but those fancy shmancy stickers don't tell you how.  They don't tell you how to not get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season.  They don't tell you how to decompress after spending hours online trying to find a gift for your four year old that's not going to blow your entire budget.  They don't tell you how to schedule your calendar around your friends calendars so that maybe just maybe you can all be in the same place at the same time for a night of merry-making.

It used to be that you just had your holiday party and everyone came.  You just got the cutest toy with the most colors and they loved it.  You just made cookies and "God forbid" brought them to your kids school to share with the class.  I'm only 30 years old and I'm thinking about the good 'ol days.

Not in my classroom kid!
Peddle your cookies some place else!

This is terrible!

I tried to find a toy catalogue from Toys "r" us.  I called every store in a 50 mile radius, plus I went online and even called the 1-800 number.  And I got the same response with everyone I spoke too.
"Why would you want a catalog?  The coupons aren't valid anymore."

What?  Really?  That's not what a toy catalog is for!!  It's not about the coupons or the overpriced gadgets!  Its about making a letter to santa.  It's about relishing in the idea of tinsel and holiday making. It's about dreaming and wishing and asking and when Christmas morning comes, its about receiving!

Receiving something that you don't deserve.  Just because you are asked.  Just because you are special. Just because you are loved.

Isn't that's the real story of Christmas?

...

I think I just rediscovered Christmas for myself.  I guess I just needed to see it written down.

Antenella

Turning Two!

It has been quite a celebration in my house this past couple of days.  My son turned two yesterday but that hasn't stopped us from celebrating everyday before and after for the past month.  The kid has had three birthday cakes in the past 5 days. Seriously?  Who's idea is it to give a two year old that much sugar?

As the date come closer to my baby boy turning 2, I have been reflecting on what a joy he has been.
...

Actually, scratch that.  He has been a complete terror!  As I look at my past posts I realize that most of them are either centered around my son inherent need to destroy my sanity or his incredible ability to toy with his own life.  Between the screaming and the trips to the hospital, I'm pretty much spent.

For the first 9 months of his life all he did was cry.  No, not cry, scream... Like a banshee.  No joke.  He came out screaming like a two year old and it never really changed.  And now that he is actually two years old I can verify that it is in fact a two year old shrike.

He and I did not have a very good start.  In every way that my oldest was a joy, my son was a monster!  He never slept, he need to be constantly fed or held and he made it his job to cry as long and as loud as possible at home, in the car, at church, at target (same thing, right?)... Plus, it took him forever to walk and that kid was friggin heavy!!

I had constant battles over food and toys and attention.  As much as he's cry when he was with me, it would be doubled when I had to leave him somewhere.  God forbid I would have a date night with my husband.  I could hear the faint cry of "hussy" in his cloud of screaming as I would walk out the door.  So not only did he hate being with me, he equally hated not having me around.  Just like a man.

He taught me so much about myself that I honestly wish I had never had the opportunity to find out.  Like how I realized that I would rather give up food then alcohol or that my prayers for a happy child would just turn into desperate pleas for a nap that would last longer then 20 minutes.  Yes, it's true that I love my son but I sure didn't like him for a while there.  We spent so much time yelling and crying at each other that I was convinced that he hated me.  (Which might have true.)

But I look at him today with his big boy haircut (thanks Brandy!) and his little super hero jammies as he concentrates so intently on building his train puzzle and I can't help but think where the time has gone.  He has become such a caring and considerate child.  He is so willing to make friends and loves playing with his sisters.  He loves to sing and dance.  He adores anything that resembles a truck and if it doesn't he will make it into one anyway.

He knows when I'm going to cry and asks to hug me before I drop the first tear.  He comforts his younger sister when she hurts herself.  He sings to himself when he likes what he's eating and thinks goldfish are there own food group.  He loves animals, especially dogs and he just about wets himself when we take him to the zoo.  He loves the water and will run around for hours if you take him to an open field.

Even though he is so distinctly himself, I see so much of who I am in him.  And I realize,  I like who am.  Some times you just need a little mirror to help you see the best of yourself.

Antenella