If you know me at all you know that as much as I complain about my kids I love them more then life. Not only do I love my kids, I want more of them. But not just my own. I want to be like "Brad-gelina" and adopt a brood of kids. Ok, maybe I'm not that obsessive. But in actuality we (as in my husband and I) really want to add to our family through adoption and have started taking the steps in order to make that a reality.
Since then we've been getting a lot of nuttier-then-squirrel-poo crazy looks when I tell people I know and don't know. (I've recently taken up the hobby of screaming at the top of my lungs in a very busy Target: "We've completed our home study!") Some people are very tactful and simply say, "God bless you!" Which He does. But we all know that's code for "you can barely handle the kids you got!" Thank you. I am aware.
Though there are others that simply come out and say in a very indignant voice, "Why?" Now, our adoption story has already come full circle and has barley started never mind ending but I wanted to share my letter to my birthmother. Since we are adopting domestically we are required to write a letter to the mother who will be giving birth to our baby. Since she is going to be releasing her infant into the care of others it's only fair that she chooses who those parents will be. So our primary chance of being picked is by telling said-mother how awesome we are in a letter.
Of course, I didn't really think it was appropriate to lie so I came up with a compromise. I wrote what I believe she would need to hear from the people who will be raising her child. I wrote from the heart and although there isn't much about how wonderful we are as people there is a lot about how wonderful she is. With that being said, this letter does two things. 1. I hope it makes her feel comfortable with her delicate decision and 2. It answers the question of why we want to adopt in the first place.
Enjoy!
Antenella
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord.
"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11
I will always remember when I truly understood the calling to adopt. I never considered it a noble or even lofty calling. It was always just that, a calling. Ever since I could remember I have wanted to adopt. Before I even knew if I would be able to have my own children or not I just knew that it was something I wanted and was supposed to do. I toyed with the idea as I got older which grew into wrestled with the desire for more then a couple of years after getting married.
But I'll never forget when I finally figured out why I wanted to adopt. One day during service my pastor said something so simple yet so profound when talking about the dilemma of an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. He said that this should never even be a question of unwanted. " A child is always wanted by somebody and is never unplanned to God! It is our responsibility as the body of Christ, to not only give that child a home but to ease the burden for a mother that just can not provide. There would be a lot less unwanted pregnancies if we, as the hands and feet of Christ; started loving on those that needed it and be willing to do something unconventional to show it."
I knew then and there why I wanted to adopt. He pulled the feelings out of my heart and made them words, giving what I felt a name. It was Love. I want to love! We as parents, want to lavish it on a child that otherwise might not have the resources to receive it. Plus, we wanted to show that love to a mother that otherwise may not be getting it. We want to love you by loving what you created. We want to show you compassion by being compassionate to the child growing within you. We want to bring hope into your life by giving you the possibility of receiving it.
Most importantly, I want you to know that there is more to you then what society sees as your mistakes. You are a blessing from God! Whether you decide to allow us to raise your child or if you choose another couple, know that you are an answered prayer. You are providing a fulfillment that would otherwise be lost. You are a miracle maker, a God send and the reason that a couple will get down on their knees and praises God for you. This is not a mistake or a failure. This is God showing his glory through his creation!
It reminds me of the story of when Jesus heals a blind man. (John 9) The disciples assumed that the man was blind because of a past sin or a sin that followed throughout the generations but Jesus said to them:
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned
but this happened so that the works of God
might be displayed in him…"
-John 9:3
God will always take what society has deemed shameful and use it for His glorious story. Remember that you are part of that Glory. You are a prized possession that is loved by those that don't even know you. Do you realize what you will be gifting someone with? You will literally birth a life that will touch so many people who will be forever grateful for your very existence!
Our church is doing a campaign for love this month and during the service this past weekend I was struck with the idea that you will be doing every single one of these acts of love.
1. Love goes where no else want to go: You are doing something hard. You are ultimately making a sacrifice. You are willing to put someone else's needs in front of your own. That takes major strength, maturity and faith. Very few people have the fortitude to do what you are willing to do.
2. Love does what no else is willing to do: You are willing to give up your own needs to give your unborn child a better life and a future.
3. Love gives what no one else is able to give.
Whether you realize it or not you will be doing more for the kingdom of God then most people could even dream of. You, right now, are fulfilling a longing hope and desire. You are giving life!
I pray that you will choose us since I know that this letter was written for you. I know that you will find us. That you will have absolute peace that this is the family you want. I pray we are that family and I pray you find us soon. I could tell you about all the things we want to do with your baby. I want to tell you that this baby will be loved in our house by not only devoted parents but a sister and a brother who will undoubtable sneak extra cookies to him/her. We will be able to take a family vacation to Disney world as a party of five and have breakfast with Mickey Mouse! That the baby will be given extra helpings of pasta on Sundays at Nana's house. That the baby will be able to see the tigers at the zoo and even take pictures riding the turtles with her siblings. That we will teach the baby to swim and dance and know a good story when he hears one. That she will have a wonderful support group of friends and mommy-group playmates. That the baby will have an extended family that reaches across the country and beyond.
But most importantly we will teach the baby to love Jesus, to love others and to love themselves. They will know that they were never a mistake but more like a miracle. A living example of how a mighty and gracious God moves. This baby will have two devoted parents that wanted nothing more then to raise children with love and determination. Sometimes it will seem like more then we can chew but we will rejoice in knowing that this was God's will for us and for you. All we want is to be obedient.
Thank you for all that you do.
You are selfless.
You are a child of God.
A blessing.
And don't let anyone tell you differently!
Your adopted parents
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