Watch me, Mommy!

The other night, after the kids were finally in bed and me and the hubby got to actually see each other for the first time that day, he tells me with such honesty and sincerity; that he felt I'm not attentive enough to our children.

...

It was such a heartfelt and true concern that it was easy to push the immediate reaction of punching him in the neck aside and really listen to him.  In all honesty, I guess I could be a little more attentive to them.  If I were to take them to do more things or do some learning activities at the house or even play hide and seek once in awhile. (shudder*)  But that's not what he was talking about.

I don't know how to say this but
Your a bad mom.

He paints this picture of what he sees when he gets home from work.  I'm in the kitchen making dinner and the kids are at my feet and my princess is saying "Look, Mommy!  Watch me!"  and I don't.  I just make an "Mmhmm" noise and say "Wow, cool"  But I don't even look up.  All she wants is for me to look at her.  To acknowledge her.  To show her that she has worth and that as her mother I think she is worthy of my attention.

Again, he tells me this with genuine concern and sincerity.  I bite my lip and wait a few moment to allow it to sink in before I calmly answer him.  The first thing I say is, that the hardest thing about being a mom is that everyone else knows how to do your job better then you.  Your kids teachers, your parents, your pediatrician, your friends with only one child and yes, even your husband.  They may not actually think that but a lot of the times the things that they say make it seem that if the roles were switched, they'd do a much better job.  I don't go into his I.T job and tell him how to lay out his programing.  Of course not.  Not only would I be giving wrong information but it would also be really obnoxious.

Secondly, I tell him that at 8:00 in the morning I am fresh!  I am ready to watch every little think my daughter and son have to throw at me.  I watch things all day!  "Mommy, look at me!" is an every second of the day affair.  From 7:30am till 6:30pm I am the only one in the house that they can perform for.  So guess who gets to watch every jump, every spin, every burp?  Me.

I know I shouldn't be complaining, I mean,  I am very grateful that my children have minds and bodies that work with such ease and wonder that every little thing is something to celebrate.  And celebrate we do!  Every... Little... Thing.

Everything has to be documented with a visual from mom.  And if I could be quite honest, I'm not watching some really amazing things either.  Sure some of them are.  Once I watched her do a somersault or another time I watched her hit her brother in the head with a plastic shovel.  That was certainly entertaining.  But for the most part I'm watching things like blinking, or drinking from a cup (which she's been doing since she was two and half) or spitting (which they shouldn't be doing at all)

So I am sorry if by the time my hubby comes home I'm not really excited when my daughter jumps up for the umpteenth time to show me something that involves standing as still as possible and slowly trying not to laugh.  I'm sure that years from now when she's all grown up I'll look back and thing of how endearing it was but I notice that there are a lot of things about this age that will only be appreciated when a decade as gone by.  As for right now, I'm just trying to survive it.

So give me a break if I'm to busy trying to get dinner on the table without burning it or the kids.  The idea that my daughter will be a shell of a person because I don't have time to watch her jump over the grout lines in the kitchen is ridiculous and I refuse to allow myself to be guilted by it.  Besides, there are going to be times when something else is going to take precedence over her need for attention, so it's better that she learns now then when she's in college and is throwing herself at some hot freshman boy and she thinks she less of a person just because he's not that into her.  Whatever, she can blame me in therapy when she's old enough to pay for it herself.

Good!  Now you can pay for your own therapy

Now sit down.  Dinner is ready.

Antenella

Kids, the Ultimate Excuse to Not do Housework

I think she's attempting to be productive

What is it with trying to get work done that infuriates the hell out of my children?  My kids can be the sweetest most well behaved children that ever lived.  They play together, entertain each other and over all, leave me to my own devices.  That is, of course, as long as my "own devices" means sitting on the floor in the same room as them.  God forbid I try to get a load of laundry done!

Well, that's never gonna happen

I've been trying to write this blog for roughly 20 minutes and in that 20 minutes.  I have had to get one ice cream, two waters, one cheese stick, changed Netflix to Diego, changed Netflix to Dora, changed it back to Diego, move from the couch in front of Diego to the couch in the playroom 3 times, had three mini meltdowns over play dough and only one of my precious baby angels is even awake right now!

Ugh!  Days like this I think about all the things I could have done as a single person and how hard I thought it was to get things done then.  What a joke!  As a mom I have to do six times as much work with six times less time to do it in.  And I am a stay-at-home mom!  I don't know how you do it if you have to also work at a job!  Props to you!  I guess I can get a lot of stuff done if I'm ok with listening to my kids scream the entire time I am doing it.  For example...

Last week I had a fundraiser at my house which was awesome!  The clean up before hand?  Not so much.  I started Monday for the Saturday affair.  And good thing I did because I would never have had a solid three hour block to do everything in.  It turns out that as a mom, whatever you need to get done can only take you 5-10 minutes before it becomes more work then its worth.

Forget having a phone conversation.  (giggle*)  Even the idea of having a conversation using the phone conjures up images of Seinfeld when George's parents try to call him.  I have literally done loops in my backyard with my kids following behind me screaming at the top of their lungs like some twisted game of follow-the-leader just to make a dentist appointment.

His face says it all

And if you have single friends that call you, that is, if you still have single friends that tolerate you at all; they either thing you are making up the fact that your kids scream all the time or they just stop calling you because they don't want to listen to you berate your kids for 15 out of the 20 minutes that they've got you on the phone.  I am lucky enough to have a couple of single friends that have no problem with the sound of a baby pterodactyl screeching in the background.  I am so grateful!

We can make this crap up

Don't even talk to me about having to get stuff done on the computer.  You might be checking your mail, making appointments, paying the bills, researching the next schooling assignment, finding a recipe for dinner, logging your workouts, checking your Facebook, buying movie tickets, and updating your calendar all at the same time but all your kids see you doing is sitting down looking relaxed.  Red flag!  That is an immediate code red in a toddlers eyes.  Code Red means two things.  Lots of noise and tears.  From you or them, it doesn't matter.  As long as there is lots of it.

So you figure, I'll put on a movie that will distract them for a least a half hour.  Especially if it's Dora!  All they ask to do all day is watch Dora anyway, this will be perfect.  They'll be happy because they get to have their crack... I mean favorite tv show, and you'll be happy because they'll stay out of your hair while you check your mail or pay some bills.  Nope.  This is the only time Dora is not working her magic.  Her espanol is not engrossing your child like she's on hallucinogenics.  Why?  WHY? Oh the humanity!

Trippin balls

In the time it has taken me to write the rest of this blog my princess has asked me for 6 different things, to change Diego to Dora (again), made me cover her with a blanket, asked me to play with play dough (again), has fake cried at my feet for 6 minutes, asked me to take her to the bathroom (which she has been doing on her own since she was three) and has now resigned herself to just saying my name over and over again while she lays at my feet...

And Dora is on!

sigh*

Antenella

Why Mommy?

Oh my Lord!  I don't know if you've been through this or are going through this but I swear, that if my daughter asks me one more time, "why?" I'm going to lose my schmit!

I understand that the "Why" phase of development is very important.  There are lot of things that come out of this.  Cognitive understanding, cause and effect, the importance of communication.  I mean, there are a lot of great things that come out of asking why.  In fact, my husband swears by it.  He is of the belief that he is a more educated, adjusted and confident person because he learned from a young age to ask why and more importantly, to not feel silly asking.

Well, whoopty-friggen-doo for him!  He gets to go to work.  I have to sit at home and answer "why questions" all day.  If I could sum it up in one word it would simply be, exhausting.  Especially since, a lot of the "why questions" aren't really because she wants to know, it's just a distraction tactic so she gets to do what I've asked her to stop doing, longer.

"Stop hitting your brother!"  Why?  "You'll hurt him"
"Don't stand in the buggy"  Why?   "You'll fall and get hurt."
"Eat your breakfast."  Why?   "Because you'll be hungry later."
"Sit in your car seat."  Why?  "Because it's not safe to drive without out seat belts on."
"You can't have ice cream"  Why?  "Because you turn into a crazy person!"

Why shouldn't you eat dirt.  Hmm...

Why? Why? Why why?  ARG!!  I don't know!! Just do what I ask!!  Why is it so hard to just follow direction?  Is it really necessary to know why I ask you to eat your peas?  Then it happens...

You didn't see it coming.  You couldn't!  After 6 hours of "whying" every little thing that has come out of your mouth.  It happens... The words are slipping out past your lips before you can choke them back.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!!"

...

And there you have it!  You have become your mother.  You swore up and down that you would never say that.  Why would you?  You will have the patience of mother Teresa with your precious baby angels, unlike your ADD mother who never spent enough time with you.  (sob*) But, it has happened.  It has come full circle and you know what?  Now that you've said it, you realize that this isn't actually a cop out answer like you initially though.  No, it turns out to be totally true!

Sometimes things have to be done just because... I said so.  There is no scientific reasoning behind my wanting you to don underwear before leaving the house.  It's just expected that you do so in this country we call America.  Sure, no one would even know and probably won't even care if you don't wear them But since you are my kid and I think it is only appropriate that you do wear underwear, then wear them you shall.  Why?  Because I said so.  The End.

Who knew?

There is no other logical explanation needed after this argument.  Because, honestly, it can get really our of hand otherwise.

"Shh, your brother is sleeping," Why?

Why what?  Why is your brother sleeping or why do I want you to be quite.  Really?  You know the answer to both of these questions.  But you get pulled into answering "why questions" and next thing you know 20 minutes have gone by and they still haven't brushed their teeth.

So yes, It happens.  Yes, some times I don't give any real explanation other then to say it's my way or the highway.  But you know what?  I don't feel bad about it.   Why?

BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Antenella

Yay for the ER!

I would probably like it a lot better if it looked like this

What is it with boys trying to leave this world as quickly as they came into it?  I swear, my son has been trying to get back to Jesus ever since he left the Nirvana for babies-yet-to-be-born.  Without a question my son either thinks he is Spiderman or is trying to get bite by something radioactive that will make him Spiderman.  Correction... Iceman.  My daughter has been very explicit about his real naming being Iceman.  (For more on this strange side note feel free to read "Spiderman and his amazing friends".  It might make more sense.)

Anyway, all this comes from the fact that we spent Palm Sunday not at Church, where all the good, caring, attentive Christian parents take their wonderfully behaved kids in their cutest little sunday best.  Oh no, we were in our pj's in the ER at our local hospital.  Why might you ask?  Perhaps we were visiting a family friend, or a brand new niece or nephew was born or maybe we were just getting to know our local hospital and it's amazing staff.  Alas, this was not so...

Yeah... this wasn't us so much this Sunday.

Sunday morning I woke up early to help out at my church (yes, they actually let me help at my church and don't try to hide me and tell all the other parishioners to "pay no attention to the crazy in the corner") but my husband was complaining about being sick.  So instead of going like I should have, and therefore miss all the hullaballoo that ensued thereafter, I stayed home to nurse my sick husband back to health.  Which was easy since it only lasted about 5 seconds until we both her a loud "THUD" followed shortly by intense yet honest crying.  I have never seen my husband move so fast...EVER.

Poor kid fell out of his crib.  No biggie.  I know it sounds heartless but this kid has thrown himself off the couch onto the tile floor with not so much as a bump.  Needless to say, I wasn't immediately concerned.  So we rush in there and pick him up and try and sooth him.  He only wants my husband which honestly hurt a little.  Maybe it's because he was reading the level of concern and he realized mine was pretty low in comparison.  Like I said... heartless.

So we're soothing him and he is crying so hard he's starting to gag and I'm pretty sure vomiting is a sign of a concussion.  But I think, nah.  It's not that high.  Kids fall out of their cribs all the time.  So we take him to our room to calm down a bit and while we are laying him down in our bed the boy starts to doze off.  Ok.  Now I'm freaking out.

I'm yelling at my husband, "don't let him fall asleep!"  I'm jumping out of bed opening the blinds and yelling my son's name.  I get dressed, grab my son and start heading downstairs with the pediatrician on the phone.  Of course it's Sunday so I get the answering service.  No prob.  They usually return my call quickly.  By the time I get downstairs the boy is alert and talking to his sister who's been watching cartoons for an hour already.  I get everyone ready to get out the door just in time for my pediatrician to call me back.  They give me the OK to head to the hospital.

I was planning on making a trip out there anyway but at least now I'm armed with "My pediatrician told me to bring him in" when anyone at the hospital asks, instead of just sounding like a nervous nelly.  Anyway, all this freaking out happened mostly inside my head.  I was able to explain to my daughter that we couldn't watch "monkey george" anymore because we had to go to the doctor to make sure her brother was alright.  She didn't seem to be to convinced that he was really that important but we got her out the door with minimal fighting.

Way more important then crying brother.

The beautiful thing about an ER visit is that 90% of the times that you go there after about 3 hours you start feeling like this was a total waste of your time.   This is a good thing because if after 3 hours you're still feeling concern you may actually have a real life emergency.  Sure enough, by the time we get to the hospital and get checked in my son is his flirty, distractive self again.  Hurray... only 2 more hours until we get the CAT scans back.

Why yes, mister Stamos I will wait for hours.  With pleasure:)

So all of this to say he's fine.  The CAT scan came back normal.  He was laughing and playing like nothing had happened and most importantly he was allowed to take those oh so holy naps that we love so much.  Just for the record, if your kid falls and they are showing signs of concussion just bring them directly to the ER.  There's a good chance that your doctor won't be able to do anything in the office anyway so just let them know you are going directly.  Better to be safe then sorry.

That, and also, I'm a heartless mother.  But when it comes down to it, I know when it's appropriate to worry just enough.


Antenella