The ABC's Toddler Nutrition

Oh my Gosh!!  My very first Guest blog!!  Can I get any more excited?  I think not.  Not only do I have the most awesome friends, they are also hilarious and fabulous writers.  This is one of my "mommy's in crime" that I am so privileged to know and complain-about-my-kids with.  Brandy Anderson people!  Give it up!  *Hand Clapping*  She is a genius and I'm pretty sure she's a super hero on her off days.  Except for the fact that she struggles with the basics of her kids eating habits just like the rest of us.  So here is her version of how to get your toddler to eat... anything.  (packaged Pancakes?  I died, love it!)

First and foremost I want to thank Adria for the opportunity to be a guest on her blog.  We have been talking about it for what seems like the forever, and being the slacker that I am, I kept coming up with excuses for not actually writing one.  Although, I'm sure the real reason she wanted me to write a guest blog was so she would get a week off. Yeah I'm pretty sure that’s the reason.... Regardless I'm honored!

A little about myself, my name is Brandy, I'm a full-time mom and part time hairstylist.  I have a 2.5 year old son, Bryce, who gives me the inspiration and qualification for writing this guest post. He has inspired a lot of subjects, but Adria has pretty much covered most of them in previous posts. So my guest post today is simply called, "No, you can't have ice cream for breakfast!"

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of attending a wedding with some friends I have not seen in a long time.  Since seeing them last, we have moved to different states and had children.  We were sitting at the same table for dinner, so of course our conversation revolved around our children. You would think we would be 'getting all kinds of crazy' considering we didn’t have our children with us, but having a child changes a lot, who am I kidding- having a child changes everything.

So we are talking and I ask her about her son's diet.  He is a year older than Bryce, so I am hoping she has some words of wisdom. I am always asking other moms about what their kids eat because my child’s diet sucks.  I want to know I am not alone in this daily battle. She agreed, confirming her son doesn't eat anything either, in fact her husband gave me a rundown of their sons daily meal plan, and it went something like this….

why eat fruit when you can stuff your face with
cupcakes?

 "In the morning, he wants packaged chocolate muffins, sometimes two packs." I start to laugh because I know that if Bryce knew what prepackaged muffins were he would not eat his pancakes anymore and would demand them for breakfast. (Not that the packaged pancakes he likes are any better by any means.) She goes on to tell me that she has actually made him homemade muffins and he turned his nose up to them.  Yes, I know that gesture well.

or this?  Really, though?  Can you blame her?

He continues, "For lunch he eats maybe a couple bites of chicken nuggets, not an all white chicken nugget from Chick-fil-a but chicken parts from McDonalds." At this point I am laughing my ass off (can I cuss Adria? Not sure the rules, if not you can change it to butt or whatever you feel is appropriate) because I'm lucky if I can get my kid to eat fried chicken from Chick-fil-a or McDonalds.

ain't nothing wrong.  Don't judge!

He finishes his story by telling me for dinner "I shove a couple bites of Macaroni and cheese down his throat, then he poops the size of a softball.”  I am laughing so hard at this point, because all of it is entirely true.  I'm so glad I'm not alone in this battle.  They painted the same picture that I deal with daily! 

I have discussed his diet with my pediatrician and basically besides force feeding, which she did not promote, I am stuck with my kids’ crappy diet.  I cook healthy stuff for dinner... I try not to buy artificially flavors and colors, etc. I read labels.  I buy whole wheat pasta/bread..I'm not 'granola' but I do try the best to buy healthy things for my family and myself. Bryce would be thrilled if his daily meal plan consisted of (in no particular order) yogurt, fruit snacks and maybe fruit for every meal.  Along with a side of cookies, crackers, and M&M’s…seriously!  Ugh!

Tonight as we were reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar, I had an epiphany when we got to my sons favorite page in the book. I have attached a picture in case you are not familiar.  It dawned on me why it is he likes it so much; it’s an entire page of his favorite food groups, Salt and Sweets!  

I decided to conclude with a few random thoughts about my experience in toddler nutrition.

• I could feed a small country based on all the food and money I have thrown away trying to get him to eat.
• He poops more than he ingests, I don’t know how.
• His favorite food group is Sugar.
• His favorite drink is sugar water, aka watered down apple juice.
• If he likes something one day (that is not sugar and actually semi healthy) I will buy more of it and…he will never eat it again. See #1.

So instead of stressing myself, like I have since my son started eating solids, I decided to relax.  He is a happy, healthy growing boy.  I just thankful my sister in law is a dentist.

Brandy Anderson

Everyday!

Dear crying child of mine:

Its the same thing.  Everyday.  I'm not kidding.  Everyday!  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  Everyday its the same thing!  You have to wear clothes.  Every.  Day.  The 4 S's.  Shirt, shorts, socks, shoes.  I try to make it as easy as possible.  Even underwear is optional some of the time.  But you have to look presentable even if it is just one big facade.

Apparently my kids are
going to be pretty stupid.

Everyday we get up at the same time and we get ready for school.  Everyday.  I wake you up, you pee, I get you dressed, I brush your teeth, we go down stairs, I make you food, I put your shoes on and then we go out the door.  Everyday!

So why, oh why do you proceed to fight me at ever single step of the wake up routine.  Even if I don't have to wake you up, you still cry about having to get out of bed.  But on days when we don't have to get up early you come into my room and cry at me till I wake up from my sleep deprived stupor.  Really?  I can't win.

Forget the fact that after looking over this list of thing that need to be done everyday, I realize, I'M the one doing all the work!  All you have to do is cooperate.  You don't even have to be awake or coherent!  You could just sit there like a rag doll while I slip your pants on over your butt.

Of course the pants I will have picked for you will not be appropriate for what you think should be worn for that particular day.  But if I let you pick you're own clothes you will inevitably pick nothing but your bathing suit and socks.  Why?  When has that ever been okay for school?  When?  Did your father tell you that this was okay one day when I wasn't around?  (not possible, I am always around.)

Then going pee.  Really?  I mean, seriously.  It's the beginning of the day.  You have been asleep all night (sometimes) and you're telling me you don't have to pee?  Really?  Holy bladder infection, Batman! You have got to go to the bathroom!  Don't fight me just because I suggested it.  And please, don't wait until I have wrestled your pants on you while you were during a rather convincing impression of an alligator because I am not doing that sh*t again!  You will hold it till I drop you off at school!

And brushing your teeth.  All I ask is the you don't cry during the whole thing, because brushing and toothpaste and extra saliva is just asking for dirty shirts and I just finished having to hog tie you long enough to get you in the first one.  Please just spit when I ask you too and don't let the blueberry kids toothpaste that stains everything it touches grace your preciously clean t-shirt with its presence.

Forget it!  No one is wearing clothes today.

Next.  Eat breakfast.  Just do it.  Your are a raging beast because you are hungry.  Trust me.  If you eat the waffle style cinnamon toast deliciousness you will feel so much better.  Plus, I am not feeding you again in an hour when you have decided it is time to eat.  Welcome to my household.  It never works that way.  Ever!  You will be a raging beast until lunch time.  (or until I give under the pressure.  In that case you will get goldfish.)

Put your shoes on.  Not your sandals, not your ballet shoes, not your dress shoes that are too small for you, not your sisters shoes.  Your shoes!  Every time.  If we were going to the beach you could wear sandals.  If we were going to church you could wear your dress shoes.  If we were going to a drag show you could wear your sisters shoes.  But we're not.  We're going to school.  SCHOOL!  And if I have to pin you to the ground like a high-school wrestler then you better keep those shoes on because just like your pants, I ain't doing that sh*t again.

Put on your sneakers!!
NO!

This may seem strange and confusing to you because you can't for any reason understand why it would be important to wear such things like shoes and have fresh breath from teeth brushing but I promise you there is a very good reason.  Mostly, its because I am trying desperately to keep up this charade that I may actually know what I'm doing and that I haven't lost my mind completely.

So please, for the love of every thing holy just play along until your old enough to make your mistakes all on your own.  I want these people to like me.

Love always your charlatan mother

Antenella

Gotcha!

Yesterday was my youngest daughters "Gotcha!" day.  In fact, it was our family's very first Gotcha day.  Most people celebrate birthdays, (which we do anyway) but this time we celebrate the day that we got to take Arya home for the first time!  Being the wonderful, organized and attentive mother that I am...

I totally forgot.

Eating cake like a boss!

My husband calls me on the way home from work.  He's already a half hour late in leaving, my kids are screaming for food but refuse to get out of the kitchen long enough for me to prepare anything of substance without burning someone and I answer the phone.


"Hey hun, you want me to stop and get a cake?"
"A cake?  What for?  I want you to come home so you don't have to have me commit."
"Hello?  It's Arya's "Gotcha" I thought we could celebrate with cake!"

Mommy fail.

"Oh, right!  Yes, cake will be fine.  Just get home will ya?"

So, that night, after taco night we celebrated the day that our family became five with chocolate cake.  Because It's not a party without cake.  It made me realize how far we've come as a family and how much we've had to over come.

Halloween

I remember getting the phone call from our agency at 10pm and the excitement of thinking, this might be it!  I remember how everything was a whirlwind.  How we spoke with the birth mother over the phone and how she asked if we would be willing to raise her baby girl as our own.  I remember how surreal it was to meet this little family we only saw in pictures and how big Arya's family would look in just a few days time.

I remember feeling anxious when leaving her mostly because my oldest was so distraught on discovering that we were not bringing her baby sister home with us that day.  I remember making an emergency run to Ikea to get basic things like a high chair, because her big brother was still using it and a big girl bed for my oldest so the newest member of the family could use the crib.

I remember strapping the newest carseat into the van next to the other two and wondering if I was ready for this.  I remember driving almost two hours away to meet with the birth mother for the last time and praying with everything in me that she would actually show up.  I remember my oldest being more excited then any of us to bring home her baby sister that she had waited so long for. (Three days is an eternity for a toddler)

I remember making it into the office before the birth mother and waiting with a sinking feeling that she might not show up with our newest family member after all.  I remember talking with the birth mother for the first time and asking if there was anything that she wanted her child to know about her and her family as she grew up.

"Just reminder her that her name means song, because she will always be the song of my heart."

Christmas!

I remember her placing Arya in my arms for the last time and the look of relief, guilt and immense sorrow that was etched into her face as she finally broke eye contact and quickly left before the tears started to fall.

I remember walking out as a family of five and getting used to strapping in a third one year old into the car.  I remember driving back the whole way home with my oldest talking non stop to her baby sister and all the things they were going to do when they got home as I just sat in complete shock and bewilderment that this was really happening.

She was so new, so young, so different.  She was already a year old.  Her own person with her own likes and dislike and ways of communicating, eating, sleeping.  We had to learn a whole new person without any back story or 9 months of planning.  She had some health issues, some social issues, so learning issues.  She screamed in her sleep.  She threw continuously from not being able to breath properly and she hoarded food.  She was so foreign...

Its true what they say though, it only takes a year to adjust to a new baby in the house.  When you first bring them home, whether they were born to you as an infant or you are bringing home an older child, a year still seems like a really long time.

It's not.  It's been a year and I almost forgot!  Because now I just take for granted all the wet kisses, the constant cries for mommy, the days of chasing three children instead of two and all the little plates and forks I have to clean after dinner.

I take it for granted because this is my family...

because it turns out, that it was always supposed to be this way.

Antenella