Love and Understanding

I know I promised the wonderful man of mine that I wouldn't use him as material to write about but I just can't help myself!  I just have to brag about what an amazing person he is!

...  No, I'm serious.

I know, I can't believe it either!  I'm going to actually write about the beautiful father of my children and  there won't be even a single tongue in cheek jab.  Can I do it?

Of course.

This is a story about change, about how people can change.  That ideas can be morphed and that even the deepest of prejudice can die and make way for understanding and acceptance.  Okay,  maybe it's not that deep but it's a big deal to me.

Let me start at the beginning.  When my son was barely a year old I took both he and my oldest to Disney world with my folks.  I didn't take my youngest because she wouldn't have come around for another 6 months.  Crazy right?  It's like she's been here always.

Anyway, while we were there we went into one of the shops in Downtown Disney.  The one that happens to have the "bippity boppity boutique".  One of the most magical things about this shop is that the walls are lined from floor to ceiling with princess dresses with all the trimmings.   It's sufficient to say that my oldest was in heaven.  Naturally, we dressed her in every dress imaginable, taking pictures and making a fuss.  Quietly, my son picks out his own dress and in that one year old baby language makes it clear as day that he would like to join in the festivities.

Without much persuasion I quickly pull the "Belle" dress over his head and place a crown on his head.  My parents and I take pictures and carry on about how handsome he looks just as we did for my daughter.  He is happier then a pig in poop!  We all thought it was adorable and didn't think much of it until I got back from my trip and my husband (the wonderful, amazing and loving man that he is) has a shit-fit.

He goes on and on about I'm trying to turn our son gay and that we shouldn't be pressuring him to feel like he has to be feminine and a whole bunch more that sounds typically homophobic and ignorant.  I try to laugh the whole thing off by reminding my husband of our sons age (11 months) and reassure him that he was just trying to emulate his big sister who he wants to be just like.

Flash forward almost 2 years later.

We are back in Disney World at the exact same shop only this time the whole family is there including my hubby and my youngest.  Now, instead of just floor to ceiling princessory it has been complete with a magic mirror that will superimpose a princess dress on any little girl that stands in front of it.  So of course, there's a line.

I pull all my kids into line and as we are watching the little girls ahead of us wave there magic wands my son says really loudly, "I wanna try!!  I wanna try!!"  Interestingly enough, the first comment made was by a boy maybe 5 years of age behind us.  He said really loudly, (because kids say the darnedest things) "Why does he want to wear a dress?  He's a boy and boys don't wear dresses!"

I whip around and state loudly that "It is the 21st century and that my little boy is fabulous enough to wear whatever he wants!"  Thank the Lord the boys mother was super cool and laughed instead of the whole thing turning into a debate on social appropriateness for the sexes.

I do want to mention that I had seen other fathers take their sons hand and determinately pull them into different parts of the store.  Just in case the lure of the sparingly necklaces would be to much for them to bare.  The other mothers and I all laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation was but then I thought of my husband.  How is he going to react when he sees his little boy get up in front of that mirror?  Is he going to be mad?  Is he going to tell him he can't do it?  Is he going to pull him out of the store?  More importantly, is he going to embarrass him?

I was in shock when my oldest had gone through all the princess dresses in front of the mirror and I heard my husband say, "Ok hunny, get out of the way so your brother can have a turn."
And I watched as my husband took pictures of my son waving his hand in front of the mirror so that he too could have disney princess dresses superimposed on his tiny boy body.

Yes, that is my son in a dress.  But the best
part is, thats my husband taking the picture.

I know it seems so silly and insignificant but this was such a huge change in attitude from my husband.  I don't know if it was because he was wrapped up in the "Disney magic", or maybe it's because he knows his son a little better or maybe he finally realized you can't catch it.  But to see my husband supporting and encouraging his kids no matter what their interests might be meant the world to me.

Because, what if?  And not just for my son, but what about for my daughters?  And what if it's not homosexuality, what if its anything that is differs from what we think it should be?  How will we respond?  Will it be with love and understanding or will it be with fear and anger?  I only know of one way were I would be allowed to see my grandchildren.

Although I know that my son wanting to dress up at 2 and a half really isn't going to mean anything in the whole grand scheme of things, I do know that whatever change happened to my husband in that moment made me so proud of him.

Antenella