Another Top Ten of Misery!

Being a mother means that you are now the queen of redundancy, that the concept of routine can be to a fault and repetitiveness is now just the life you lead.  The life you lead.  With that being said I have come  up with a top ten list of things that my kids have said, people have said or that I have said that make me want to run away to Vegas and spend the rest of my life in a drunken stupor where my only responsibility is making sure that my outfit doesn't clash with the other pole dancers on stage.

Without further ado, The Top Ten sayings That make me want to gouge my eyes out:

10.  I'm hungry:  It usually comes out of my eldest daughter's mouth about thirty seconds after I've            dumped the remainder of the same food I spent 20 minutes trying to get her to eat down the garbage disposal.

9. You've got your hands full (or you must be busy) - No, I've got three small kids crammed into a double stroller.  I have all the time in the world!  So move outta my way so I can get to the damn Cheerios with the CARS characters on the box before we have it out in front of my kids.

Now imagine three kids in it.  Yeah,
It's a circus.

8. Mommy, I want - Because anything that follows this involves you doing or getting something... immediately!  Is usually uttered after being found sitting down for any stretch of time.

7. Where are your shoes? -Voiced by yours truly when discovering my youngest has thrown one of her shoes into the abyss that is the back of my van...while it's raining.  Without fail.

6. Come here so I can brush your hair - This is followed by a scream fest, forced restraining, and then sobbing while I brush out my daughters non-tangled hair.  What a nightmare it would be if it was actually knotted?

I totally bought de-tangler after this post

5. How are you doing? -  I actually want to slit my wrists.  Thanks for asking!

4. We're out of milk -  My youngest has been dubbed the "bottomless pit" for a reason.  When we first brought her home she drank a gallon of milk in a 24 hour period.  That is not normal... and expensive.  Lately, I have been buying 4 gallons of milk at a time just so I can make it through the week without having to go back to publix.

It feels a lot like this.  Only make it female
and dark as night.

3. It's an adjustment period - If you really want to see me lose my schmit all together, ask me how I'm doing and when I start to cry just tell me it's an adjustment period because that is not helping me... at all.

2.  Mommy, I'm tired - then maybe you should sleep through the bloody night!

1. My name - Not my real name.  My work name.  Mommy!  When you first bring your beautiful baby angels home from the hospital you fantasized about the day that you will finally hear your name spoken with their charming and beautiful voice.  When it happens for the first time, it's absolute bliss!  Then you realize that you will never have another waking moment that doesn't involve some one saying your name.  Sometimes it's because they need something.  Sometimes it's because they want to know where you are, and other times, more often then then not, they just want to say your name over and over again until They.  Break.  You.

Over and Over and Over and Over and Over...

There you have it!  My top Ten sayings.  I am sure that there are hundreds more sayings that could be added to this list.  In fact, if you can think of any I would love to hear them.  Besides what is the point of venting about your precious baby angels if you can't offer the same opportunity to your friends?

Antenella

ps:  Thanks to Nicole Shore for inspiring this blog.  It is such a comfort to know that I am not the only one losing my schmit out there!