Things I am not...

You might be someone who had no idea what becoming a parent would actually entail.  You might be someone who thought that you actually did know what it would entail.  (Either way... you are wrong.)

You, like me, probably thought you would do extraordinary things that involved cultural learning to an adorable and highly intelligent toddler who would "Ooh" and "Ahh" at all your developed knowledge of the temples in Rome during the era of Caesar.  You and your precocious 3 to 4 year old, who would always listened and nodded with affirmation when you explained the in's and out's of modern politics, would spend endless amounts of time exploring the world around you with the use of paint and artistic expression; while always dressed in the cutest of Gymboree clothing.  Faces never dirty... never tear streaked, for the love of philosophy and the thirst for knowledge would always guide your little ones heart!

And then you actually had a child....
And then you actually tried to teach them something...
And then you actually wondered if you ever even existed....
Like... ever...

Because no one FREAKING listens to you!!!!!

Being a parent is probably the most degrading job I have ever had... I seriously think that I could probably drop off the face of the earth, get hooked on drugs and then start stripping for a living and I would still feel less taken advantage of at the end of the day.

Do any other professions deal with the concerns of their boss following them into the bathroom to figure out what exactly they are doing with company time?

Or does any other professional have to be crossed examined by their boss for every...single...little...decision that is made, including the idea of apple or goldfish with lunch?  Folding laundry or cleaning a bathroom?  Watering the plants or cleaning the pool?

If anyone else's boss asked them the same question more then 50,000x in a matter of 4 minutes, you probably wouldn't be working there anymore.  In fact, someone would probably wonder about your bosses mental capacity.

But no!!!  Instead, my boss's who are degrading, neurotic, self-absorbed, pycho-paths!!!  are causing me to actually question MY sanity when everyone knows that any adult acting this way would be off their rocker!!!

With that being said I have discovered a few things that I am not.  And like I did with my children,  I would like to share with you some of those things:

Things I am not:

I am not a short order cook.
I am not a maid.
I am not a timer.
I am not a magician that can magic things into thin air.
I am not your slave.

you are not your freaking khakis

I am not your party planner.
I am not your servant that just stands in the corner until I am summoned.
I am not your judge.
I am not your jury.
I am not your punching bag.
I am not your dumping ground for unwanted responsibilities.
I am not the cleaning lady.
I am not the remote control.
I am not the chauffeur.
I am not the seamstress.
I am not to be ignored.
I am not be disrespected.
I am not be treated as a subhuman.
I am not your classmate.
I am not your friend.
I AM YOUR MOTHER!
....and I will be treated as such.

So, if you wanted to have any of the above objects, then you can grow up, get a job, make lots of money and buy these things for yourself after you pay for the therapy I caused you by not being any of these things when you were five.
#sorrynotsorry

 Antenella