Letters

Dear Crying Child of Mine,

I understand that life is very hard for you.  The responsibilities that you have to manage seem to be daunting.  Having to do nothing but eat, play, poop and sleep all day every day must be exhausting.  I don't know what kind of amazing place you belonged to before you were curses with the prospect of living on earth but I assure you that life does get better.  I want to start by calming your fears of abandonment and anxiety by explaining a few simple but fundamental truths about everyday life on this planet you will now call home for hopefully, a very long time.

Welcome!

Just because you are unhappy does not mean the world will stop what it was doing for you.  For example:  If I am driving the automobile that we use as our family transportation and you want the drink that I had previously given you but you did not want 5 seconds ago so you throw it into the confines of the unknown, does not mean I can stop everything to make sure you get your cup that very moment.  (Especially on I-95)  It is this little thing we call driving here on earth and it is frowned upon if you do anything but drive while doing this one task.  So, although it seems like I am punishing you for something as terrible as kicking a kitten, this is not the case, I just don't want to put our entire families lives in jeopardy just because you can't wait 3 minutes until we reach a stop sign.  (Which we enviably will since this is south florida)

Not helping...

Secondly, I promise you that I have not stepped into a giant vortex that will take me away to a different dimension were I will spend the next 70 years trying to devise a way to survive the onslaughter of a multitude of things ranging from monstrous flesh eating beasts to acid rain.  It is just the shower.  The same shower that I have stepped into everyday (almost) since your existence here on earth.  I can't imagine the panic you must feel in the 30-45 seconds of my disappearance through those glass doors but I assure you it is for not.  Especially considering the fact that a) you can still see me b) I am repeating words of encouragement that things will be ok and c) for the love of God it is faster then a prison shower.  Seriously changing your mind takes longer.

This is not happening

Thirdly,  Here on earth there is this phenomenon that happens when you are active for an extended amount of time during the day.  I understand that this must be new to you since before your departure from this wonderful place of nirvana and your entrance onto this planet, you never had to deal with such mundane things.  But I will tell you this with complete and utter sincerity.  If you are tired, then by all means, please go to sleep!  No amount or duration of crying is going to help you in this area.  The only thing that will make the bad feeling go away is if you just surrender to it.  There is no shame in allowing yourself to succumb to the enviable sooner  rather then later. There is no rule that says you have to stay awake if you are exhausted, unless of course you are a mother.

Were babies come from... apparently. 

And finally, but not exclusively, mind reading is not a skill we have here on this green and blue planet.  Maybe as we progress as a civilization we will learn this higher concept of communication that seemed to be so prevalent where you came from but here on this desolate rock, we are still stuck in the dark ages.   So I introduce to you the idea of outward communication.  You don't even have to know the language to do this.  Since we are still in a state of neanderthal type communication, most humans understand body language or just flat out pointing.  Yes and No will be very valuable commodities in your arsenal of english words.  Most humans can understand the intent behind this words no matter what language they speak.

We were sexy back then:)

Sure it is a rough, lonely and backward place that we live in but I assure you that it just takes some time to adjust.  Once you do you will have a hard time even remembering what it was that you missed so much.  Most of us do.

Your exhausted but grateful parent,

Antenella