Words without Sense

I'm a talker.  I use affirming words such as loud and obnoxious when asked "what two words best describe you" during interviews.  (Or teen beat quizzes)  Its safe to say there is nothing quite about me. If you know me at all you are well aware that I can carry a whole conversation about pretty much anything, including poop.  (which is, in fact my favorite)  But lately, I just get the feeling that I'm talking a lot without really saying anything.

Do you ever feel that way?  Just yesterday my husband came home and when I tried to ask him about his day I realized I was losing my voice.  Why?  I didn't talk to anyone over two and a half feet talk that day and I know that I wasn't having any in-depth conversations with my 20 month old.  Unless, of course, you consider the finer cinematic qualities of  Pixar's "CARS" worth a long debate.

Thank you McQueen for those long talks.

Never the less, here I was with a scratchy worn out voice.  What the heck was I saying all day?  Lets get a run down, shall we?

NO! (times a million)
Stop!
Do not hit your sister!
Do not hit your brother!
Listen!
Look! Look! Look! Look!
Please, stop whining.
Please, stop crying.
Please, leave me alone.
Please, eat your food.
Please, don't throw up.
May I, please?
You are going to have to wait your turn.
If you don't want to wait for me, do it yourself.
I am NOT taking anyone to the hospital today!
Do you want a spanking?
Did someone poop?
Do you need help?
Do not throw food on the floor.
Use your words!
No, you are not "all done".
the f- word (I'm not proud)
Stop teasing your brother.
Time out!
One... TWO...!

I have hired Morgan Freeman to demonstrate
how I felt after writing this un-exhausted list. 

Um... yeah.  No wonder I'm hoarse.  And losing my mind.  And my kids are sick of me.  With all this constant nagging, even I'm sick of me.  But this is it.  This is my life right now.  It won't always be.  (It better friggin not be)  But for now it's all I am.  Constant vigilance.  Constant correction.  Well, maybe not the f- word but you know what I mean.  It's just one continues lesson in repetition.  And it's exhausting!  Not to mention tedious!  No! Don't! Please!  Are the only words I say anymore.

Yes, I would love a slice of crazy pie, thank you.

Maybe my kids are having a hard time with speech because they never hear anything else come out of my mouth.  Of course, this make me wonder if I'm a bad mom.  Because the only thing better then monotony is a heaping portion of mommy guilt!   Seriously?  Can I really wonder if I'm being a good mom because I want to instill respect and common courtesy in my children?  Which isn't so common after all, by the way.  That is just crazy talk, right?  I'm not failing here, am I?

Some times I wonder if maybe I should just give up.  I mean, my kids are going insane from the repetition and it's obviously not sinking in and what's the point of constantly correcting with a please or thank you anyway?  No one seems to appreciate it.  People definitely don't want to over hear me saying "may I have a cookie, Please?" for the hundredth time in a row in the check out line.

And just when I think, I'm giving up.  I just going to toss in the towel.  Claim defeat.  It happens.  Out of no where.  Sitting, watching Barbie mermaid princess back to back, which a leg dangling over one arm of the couch, magic happens.

"Mommy, may I have a cookie please?"

Yes... yes you may.

 Antenella