The Worst Kid Shows EVER!!

Let me just start by saying that Netflix is my very best friend.  It is my care taker, my distractor when trying to get things done and is some times more helpful then a babysitter (definitely cheaper).  The only thing it doesn't do is clean.  But I'm sure the apple company will figure that out some day.

As you can imagine with having three kids under four, I watch a lot of cartoons.  For the most part I'm fortunate enough to get away with just the basics on PBS.  Curious George, Sesame Street, Sid the science kid, you get the picture.  But for those two hours of "boring adult tv" in the middle of the day I succumb to whatever doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out on Netflix.  Why Charlie Rose?  Why?

One of the many things parenthood has opened my eyes to is just the plethora of terrible cartoons there are in this world.  As it is, it seems the more painful it is to watch the more my kids love it!  Hurray for me.  Here are the latest three terrible cartoons that my oldest daughter makes me watch.

Oh, it gets worse.

Sky-Dancers:  Remember how awesome Jem was when you were growing up?  Guess what,  It wasn't.  It was terrible and your mother probably drank herself into a stupor every time it came on.  Well, this show is like Jem and Angelina Ballerina had a love child but it was out of wedlock in a day and age were it wasn't acceptable in public so they hid the love child in their basement till it was 18 and never let it interact with people until it had a coming out party were it was finally revealed white as a ghost and social retarded!

I don't even know what the premise is.  I think its about five kids from our world who were awesome dancers so they were kidnapped, I mean "recruited" to become the guardians of some alternate universe where everyone has wings and flies.  But some how every episode revolves around dance rehearsal and how the blond is always doing something stupid to put the kingdom in danger.  And my daughter loves it!
Typically if the show is violent or inappropriate in some way, it gets the kill switch and I tell my kids that they can not watch this show anymore.  Unfortunately, there is no real reason for a kill switch on this one besides the brain cells that are be murdered during your viewing of the show, so it is a staple of ours in our household.

Hurray for us!  Except the blond.  She can suck it.

The Fairies:  I bet you were thinking of the Disney Fairies.  Yeah, not so much.  That I can stomach.  This?  I have to leave the room.  It's so bad and what makes it worse is that it is live action so all you can feel is embarrassment for the actors who undoubtably spent way to much money on there theater degrees.  Then you spend the rest of the time wondering if this is something they got excited about.  Or if they told their parents to tape the season premier/finale.  I also spend a good amount of time wondering if the guy on the right knows that his "gold" make up is just a bright bronzer.  As well as if the guy in the middle gets into fights with his husband over his indignation of his being in a show called "the Fairies".

Yay!  For Equality!

Bratz:  I mean really?  I can't even begin to describe the eye burning crap that is the cartoon called Bratz.  As if the dolls weren't bad enough, we now have every version of what a brat could be in cartoon form.  Bratz teenagers, Bratz babies, Bratz animals... I mean it's just terrible.  And I don't know what the writers were thinking when they all got together to create these programs but humility was not one of them.  With real no fault of there own, (I mean were do you go when your protagonists are called brats?) the show is based on the name alone.  Its about fashion and pageants, make up and popularity all the while trying to force a through line of "friendship".  I'm not going to lie, its a bit of a stretch.  Unless, of course, you thought the "plastics" in Mean Girls were all about friendship.  And of course my daughter loves it... kill me now.  As for that kill switch... DOA.  We do not watch Bratz.

and no they don't ever put on pants.

With so many options of depravity on Netflix you could be the next to find the "Worst Kid Show Ever!"  Of course, if you do, the only thing you'll get as a reward is being forced to watch it over and over again by the real boss of the house.  Your kids.  

Antenella