That One Person...

Do you have that one person in your life that no matter what the scenario, every time you see them you just end up wanting to sink into the floor with embarrassment?  I mean, no matter what!  Everyone can be happy and clean and looking spotless and then as soon as that person walks within a 50 mile radius of you everyone decides to poop, vomit or strip naked in a 0 to 60 drag-race fashion.

I had no problem getting my pre-baby body back.
Sorry, I have to be going little Atticus will be late
for his Piano lessons.

I don't know if you have this problem.  This might just be a me-and-my-luck kinda thing, but I happen to have that one person.   For you, it could be your mother-in-law, a nosey neighbor or a "perfect" mom in your mommy group that has time to not only be on pintrest but actually executes the chocolate Halloween "Boo's" cupcakes like she owns it.  (So annoying)

Really?  I mean, really?

For me, it is none of these things.  Oh no.  For me the humiliation is so much deeper.  For me, this person is my oldest daughters swim teacher.  I am sure you are thinking, swim teacher?  Really?  Why in the world would a college kid working at the YMCA make you want to sink into the floor with embarrassment.

I might not have mentioned how  friggin hot!  somewhat attractive that this young man happens to be.  And to add to my embarrassment, I can't hide from this guy.  I swear we are on the same workout schedule.  Or maybe it's because I never go home...  I seriously live at the YMCA.  (You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal...)

And he is so nice.  Every time he sees me he makes a point of saying hello and asking how my oldest is doing.  Then he tells me how awesome she is.  (sigh)  So dreamy.  And normally, these interactions only happen with mild embarrassment.  Like, he chooses the moment I'm in my third set of ab crunches  to talk to me as I'm sweating and moaning in pain.  Good times. 

Hey girl, is your child drowning?
 I'll fix that.

But I recently had a moment that takes the cake to date.  (So it could get worse)  About a month ago, on Saturday, my hubby and I decided that our lovely kids were driving us up the wall so we decided to take them swimming at the pool at the gym.  No biggy.  How could there possibly be embarrassment in this scenario?  

So we pack up all the kids and take them to the pool.  No problems!  I mean, he doesn't even work there on Saturdays...

Except this Saturday.  Great.  Still, I'm confident.  There are a ton of kids there and I'm there with my school of children and hubby.  I wouldn't even run into him, forget having to talk to him and thus pursue an event that will only end in me wanting to drown myself.

So after we exchange awkward waves to each other from either end of the pool I plop myself down in the shallow end of the kiddie pool and spend the next 15 minutes watching my youngest like a hawk so she doesn't crawl face first into the deeper waters and drown herself.

Now, I'm thinking 20 minutes have gone by without any major event.  I think I will join my hubby and my oldest two sea creatures in the deeper water of the pool.  So I pick up my littlest monkey and make my way over to them.  But in order to get from where I was to where I want to go I have to swim by, you guessed it, the swim teacher.


Sure enough we start chit-chatting. (Why do I have to be so awesome that everyone wants to talk to me?  Hasn't he learned that this will only end in seething embarrassment for me!) Nothing epic, just a basic how's the weather kinda thing.  We'll about 30 seconds go by and this wonderful young man makes a point of telling me how beautiful my precious baby angel is.

"Why, thank you!"  I manage to get out just as my beauty decides to smile, laugh and vomit all at the same time.

...

Kill me.

So now I am apologizing profusely as I am trying to skim the surface of the pool with nothing but my hand and my boobs.  And this young man, he is so sweet.  He's telling me not to worry about it, and it wasn't that much, and it shouldn't be a problem and as I am trying to scrape together whatever dignity I have left a cute young blond lifeguard wades over to us.

She tells him in her not-so-quite voice "Some stupid kid must have thrown up in the pool because there are chunks everywhere!"  Swim teacher just looks at me... I assume.  I had my eyes closed.  I was actually praying that I could open them I would still be in the shallow end of the kiddie pool.  No such luck.

Sigh*  Enter "Pool Closed" sign.  Alright, kids!  Time to get out of the pool so mommy can go home and drown herself in Captain Morgan.

'nuff said.

Antenella