Tylenol... It's not just for headaches.

Lately, I've been allowing my precious baby angles to go downstairs and watch t.v when they wake up at the butt crack of dawn.  This works for two reasons.  One, it teaches them the importance of independence and working together without their mother constantly swooping in to save the day and two, I get to sleep in past 5:30am.

But don't worry.  Everything is totally safe.  I put out water in their sippy cups the night before as well as a cup of baby crack goldfish for each of them.  Everything is childproofed.  It is virtually impossible for anyone to get hurt or rushed to the hospital...

Unless, of course, you are determined to put your mother into an early grave.

So, one of these days that the kids actually went downstairs by themselves and seem to be entertaining each other in a save and harmless fashion, I decide to take a quick (jail) shower and get the littlest one ready for the day.  Since she's still in a crib she misses all the festivities downstairs.  I look at the clock and rush my youngest downstairs so I can start the same process on the other two children so we can get my oldest off to her preschool before their swim class starts.

I enter the living room and I notice a cap just lying on the floor. This is how in tuned your senses become when becoming a mother.  Not only did I notice this practically obscure object but it was in the mist of the aftermath that is my kids after not being supervised for 20 minutes.  The place was a wreck!
Alas, it was not just any cap. Oh no!  It was THE cap to a Tylenol bottle that I know I normally keep in my diaper bag under lock and key.  Since I tend to get a headache from time to time I keep a little stash of big people medicine in my bag.

Without much more observation I notice the empty bottle with a scattered 5 and a half Tylenol pills (yes, that is 5 and a half!) on the floor next to my son.  This can not be happening.  This kid can't get his animal crackers out of his spill proof cup without having a complete meltdown from frustration.  How the hell did he get into a childproofed tylenol bottle?

                

Frustrating as Hell!

So simple even a child could do it!

               
There must be a rational reason for the scene that is laid out before me.  So I ask my 20 month old.  "What did you do with this bottle?"  He points to his mouth and says "Yum!"
"Did you eat these?!"
"Uh, Huh!" with his most winning smile ever.

I panic.  Only a little at first.  I call poison control.
"How many did he ingest?" the responder asks
"I don't know, maybe 20?"
"Yeeaaaaaaahhhh, you're gonna have to take him to the hospital."
"Shit. Ok."

Hang up.  Get your shoes on, we're going to the hospital.
My daughter,  "I don't want to go to the hospital, I want to go swimming."
I lose it, for real this time.  I start sobbing.
"GETYOURSHOESON!"
"okay, okay."

I speed to the hospital, which is the longest 15 minutes I've ever had, in a sobbing wreck.  I call my husband who works an hour away.  I steal a parking spot all the way in the front from an old man that been waiting. (sorry)  And rush into ER.  The security guard tries to talk me down as I'm getting registered.

For the most part everyone seemed very calm and relaxed and not one doctor looking like Patrick Dempsey came running from the OR saying things like "Strip that kid down, stat!  He's going into surgery!!"  So all and all, I felt a little better just being at the hospital.  Normally, I would feel like no one really seems to care about their patients or take any of their concerns to heart.  Now I know its so they don't make an already hysterical mother go into cardiac arrest.  Then they'll have to deal with even more paper work.

No such luck.

Fortunately, we were the only ones there and they took us back immediately so I finally was able to breath without a paper bag.  My son on the other hand is having a grand ol' time.  Flirting with every nurse (male and female) that came within a 20 mile radius.

Cheese!  Having a Great time in the ER.
And why not?  They have cars!

So they get us all situated in the back and after everyone has me tell the same story a hundred times, I'm pretty good at it by the time the doctor comes in.

No worries, you just got to get him to drink 16oz of Charcoal, pump him full of IV fluids and monitor him for 4 hours.  Great.

There he is strapped to his IV monitor

 The Charcoal was "fun".  I had to force it on him 8ml at a time from a syringe.  Needless to say that by the time I was done it looked like I had adopted two black children.  (I'm their mom, I can say what I want!)  After whipping off my sons blackface (what?) we had to get an IV in him.  Ugh!  That was the hardest part and he just kept screaming because it wouldn't come off of his hand.  sigh, good times.

By the time we were done he had
charcoal on his back.  Really?

Anyway, three kids, a charcoal smoothie, an IV and four hours later, the blood test show that he probably didn't even smell the pills let alone eat them.  Thank You Sweet Baby Jesus!!

So the question really becomes... What is that charcoal going to look like on the way out?

Antenella