Toddlers vs Old People

I live in south florida and the beautiful thing about south florida other then the constant heat, the over grown bugs, the traffic and of course the hurricane, is the ever present plethora of old people*.  Now I don't typically have a problem with old people per say.  As long as they're not driving, or standing behind me in line or touching my newborn on the face.  Its just that they tend to be kind of frustrating.

Yes, Its beautiful.
But you'll never see it if you move down here.

I'll be honest, before kids they were the bane of my existence.  Constantly getting in my way when I had to be some where or giving me dirty looks for being so brazen with my youthful vigor.  But lately, I seem to have a much higher tolerance for them.  It all started when I started having children.  Old people became my best friends!  They would usually be the only one who would have a moment to talk to a stir-crazy mom, such as myself just killing time in Target.  Since then I have liked them a whole lot more.

I think I finally figured out why.  Because old people are the equivalent of taller toddlers!  I know we laugh about how old age turns us back into our youth but this is fo' real, yo!  

OMG!  Just like my son!

So everything kind of came to a head today at the gym.  I belong to a YMCA so it's full of old people and mom's with kids.  (My kind of place.)  I had just dropped off my precious baby angels at the kid care and was trying to make my way to the bathroom, except for the fact that there was this little old lady standing right in front of the door trying to find something in her purse.

Now, I've seen this many a time before.  My kids become so involved in trying to zip their pants or button a shirt, that they just lose all awareness of the world around them.  The problem when this happens to an old person is that you can't just gently push them out of the way like you would your toddler.  It tends to be frowned upon.  (I've tried)

So, I just had to stand there and wait until she had found your glasses or was ready to move on and as I was waiting, I briefly thought:  "I hope no one is on the other side of that door other wise she's gonna get a door in the..."

Sure enough, my mommy radar was on and I stopped the door from hitting the old lady in front of me before the old lady on the inside smacked her in the face with it.

I swear, I deal with this stuff on the playground on a daily basis. How often are we yelling at our kids to "watch out!" or "Pay attention!"and yet, here is a women, who probably drove here on her own, with the equivalent of awareness as my 2 year old?  It seriously worries me.

Other things I notice about how old people are just taller toddlers is that they both get crazy as soon as you put them in a car.  Your two year old might be the sweetest, most patient, easy going child known to man and as soon as you put that sucker in his car seat he turns into an enraged sumo wrestler.  You are fighting to get them buckled in and then you have to listen to them scream until you reach your destination.  Old people are just like this!!  You're beautiful, kind, loving grandmother gets behind the wheel of a car and she becomes Cruella De vil!  And she ain't playing!  She will run you down.

Oh no! You cut her off
by pulling into her lane five miles from her.
You are done for.

Plus, old people love to talk to you.  I actually love this part about old people.  It makes me feel more normal.  But they start talking to my already too friendly youngest daughter and I've gotta stand there for hours at a time as to not interrupt their conversation.  A lot of times I just wanna set my kids at the front of target with a little old man and just let them get to it while I get some shopping done.  (Also, not okay.)

And don't get me started on tantrums!  When an old person can't use their coupon?  Oh, forget it.  My son just watches them and picks up as many pointers as he can get.  

OOOKAAAAAY!

All these comparisons made me realize a few things.  First of all, all those people who say that your kids are only young once are lying.  Obviously, if they can make it into old age, they will have the potential to be exactly the same way they are right now.  But more importantly, it made me realize that I need to start acting more like an old person.

I need to start living my life the way my toddler sees it.  Not because I want to make it a lifestyle change but just so I can understand better what my kids are going through.  I spend so much time just watching them and thinking, "I just don't understand you."  If I could start looking at the world with the  wonder and patience as some old people,  I might be able to have the best of both worlds.  The peace of mind that comes with old age and the wonder that comes with youth.

Plus, I'll be able to fart in public and no one will say a thing.

Antenella

*When I say old people I don't mean age.  It's more of a state of mind.  So don't get all offended!  I love old people... just for a very different reason then most.