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| The circus is coming to town!! |
Me: Actually, for their age they're not really...
Him: No, I'm not trying to be an ass or anything. I'm just telling you the truth. They are whiners. You better nip that in the bud.
It's a good thing he wasn't trying to be an ass. I feel much better now. As much as I'd like to verbal bash this guy and write what I should have said to him and blast him all over the internet for it, I realize:
This isn't about him.
News flash! My kids are whinny! I know my kids whine. There's three of them. All under the age of four. With that being said I would love to tell you that I mentally called this gentleman ever name under the sun and then promptly forgot about it.
But I didn't.
It kept gnawing at me. Most of the afternoon until finally I just broke down into tears. When I did finally have the tears flowing like a faucet I couldn't even understand what I was so upset about. Lets face it. This wasn't the first time I was told my kids whine, or that they are too loud, or that they are just too much in general. I get that.
Not everyone can handle three kids and not just three kids, (because three isn't really a lot) It's three toddlers. I don't expect everyone to be happy when they see me and my circus come through the doors. In fact I almost always expect to be treated like gypsies just because of my traveling circus. But I digress.
After thinking about it for a long time and having a real heart to heart with another mommy of three, I started to realize why exactly I was so upset.
This isn't about him.
Or anyone that thinks like him. It's the fact that people don't see the beauty of my kids beyond the noise. Nobody likes the masses. That's why we have the term 'mob mentality'. Its loud, its erratic, it's ignorant. But people, individual people are beautiful, and talented and vibrant!
Just like my kids, but no one can see them over the noise. And what really made me cry, what really make me so upset was the fact that no one sees the beauty of my kids because they are always under the guise of a group. They are never individuals. They are just noise. And that makes my heart break.
This isn't about him.
No one sees how attentive my oldest is to her younger siblings. How she always has one eye open to make sure of their whereabouts. Or how she loves to sing and is good at it. How she gets shy when our neighbors son comes over and talks to her. They don't see how insanely good she is at swimming and how she can hold her breath longer then most adults.
No one sees how creative my son is. How he can tell a story from beginning to end with plot twist and cliff hangers. How he feels a sense of loss if he doesn't give you a proper goodbye or a 'squishy' hug. They don't see the way he wraps his arms around your neck and tells you how much he loves you, just because, or how every time I make his favorite food he thanks me with a happy mouth full of pasta.
No one sees how my youngest loves her baby dolls. How she holds them and kisses them and wraps them in blankets, treating them with a tenderness that isn't seen in any other realm of her existence. They don't see how she adores her older brother and wants to be just like him, following his every lead and mimicking every sound.
No one sees the generosity, the willingness to work together, the love they have for each other, the compassion they have for others. The fact that my son can't help but be attentive to another child that is crying. Or that my oldest wants nothing more to be involved in the game and encourages other to do the same. No one sees how my two oldest adore their little sister, and even though she looks nothing like them and had a different mother she is as good as blood in their eyes.
No one sees this... No one sees beyond the masses. The fact that with three small kids you are guaranteed that at any moment someone will be unhappy and there is nothing I can do about that because I can't please everyone at all times.
Kinda like him, who can't see the beauty beyond the noise.
Antenella
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